What in Merlin's name? where am I?
by kanatasha4ever
Summary: Haldir is bored for patrolling the nothern borders and Draco became a ferret and he wanders around the forbidden forest or he thought it was the forbidden forest. A one-shot about Haldir and Draco Malfoy.


Dawn approaches in the forest of Lothlorien, where Haldir, the Captain of the Galadhrim stood still, scanning the borders with his keen grey eyes for some unfriendly creatures like orcs and some other things that might cause a threat to his beloved realm. It's been several weeks that he is patrolling the Northern Borders with his two brothers Rumil and Orophin and the rest of his troops. So far in this week there was no attack and he is happy about it, no more blood spilling on the tree's trunk or anywhere on the land. Well...he likes seeing Orc's black blood spilling but not on his uniform, he loves his attire, especially when he is the one who caused it but anger filled him up and he hates it when it's the blood of his own kin.

After a few moments still nothing interesting happened and he found his self yawning while the sun slowly making its way on top of the forest.

In the other magical world...

While running no, I mean crawling Draco remembered why he became a ferret. He was bullying the golden trio with his verbal talent, as he called it, just like he always do together with his sidekicks Crabbe and Goyle and I nearly forgot, his tail, Pansy. Professor Moody came and beat the crap out of Draco and turned him into a ferret and make him a laughing stock to all and unfortunately Professor McGonagall wasn't there to save him from too much embarrassment just like she did last year or Professor Snape, his favorite teacher according to Harry to save him. Mad Eye Moody did the transfiguration to Draco to teach him a lesson that he will surely not forget and a payback also for being a cowardly brat Malfoy, but Professor Moody accidentally thrown him a bit farther than he thought he would with his magic, far far away and now Draco fell in the Forbidden Forest or so he thought it was the Forbidden Forest. He stopped for a while to catch his breath. Thank goodness he is alive despite the painful; actually it's not really painful he's just out of words to describe the feeling when falling like that. He scowled in his ferret-kind of way.

"That Potter, he will pay for this..." he stopped

He realized that being a ferret doesn't mean you can't talk English. He cheered, happy that he can talk. Draco started cursing on everything from Harry down to the slimy toad he saw jumping in front of him. After being contented on his cursing and swearing in a very undignified manner. He looked up and saw that the sun seems to shine brightly above him and much to his dismay the sun is not really helping in his state. He looked around. All he could see is a bunch of golden trees. He became a bit suspicious about the trees. The forbidden forest is known for being creepy and the sun can't even let its rays pass the abundant leaves of the trees, that's why it is also known as the black forest. Before he could conclude anything he heard a rustling sound of something, he turned to his back.

"Who's that?" he demanded.

He cursed again for leaving his wand and again he swore he hates being a ferret because eventhough he wanted to bring his wand he can't carry it.

He heard another sound and now, he laughed.

"Ha-ha! Very funny Potter, you can't fool me with your lame-o-tricks. Now reveal yourself before I could beat the crap out of you" Draco stated, thinking that the trio with the help of Mad Eye Moody did those weird sounds to scare him.

After a few minutes.

Draco heard another sound again.

"Potter! I'm warning you! Aren't you contented of making me a ferret? and now you want to scare me?"

No one replied.

Another sound was heard and it made Draco jump higher than he could imagine.

And it terrifies him.

"Stop it Potter!" he begged in a very unlikely Draco.

He turned around and his small ferret eyes went wide.  
The trees started moving and coming towards him. Draco is now panicking never in his life he have seen a tree moving, no trees moving. Well... not really, he knew about the Whomping willow near the Hogwarts castle but what scares him the most is they are coming to him. He crawled as fast as his small paws can and yelling like mad.  
He stopped when he noticed that the trees stop chasing him.

"What in Merlin's name... where am I?" Draco asked particularly to no one while panting.

"Be still my child, you are safe." a voice crept in his mind.

"Safe? You've got to be kidding me..." he trailed off.

"Who are you? Where are you?" he asked backing away.

"I am Galadriel, Lady of Light. Welcome to my realm, the forest of Lothlorien" the voice in his mind answered.

"The who?" Draco asked bewildered.

Draco waited for an answer but none came.

The voice who named itself as Galadriel didn't reply.

"I'm definitely out of my mind" he told himself.

And he started crawling again, wondering where would be the exit of this weird forest composed of moving trees and popped-out voices talking about something that has nothing to do with him. Draco kept wandering inside the Forbidden Forest.

"Hagrid's hut... I think is not far away from here, then good. Everything will be put in place and ha! That Mad Eye will pay for this! Wait till my father hears about what he has done to me!"

Draco muttered while looking around him. Strange and unbelievable thoughts now entered his mind about how will Moody and Potter will pay for transfiguring him in this ferret-form.

Draco smiled mischievously in an odd ferret-way.

He heard another sound AGAIN and he turned around instantly afraid that it might be the tree that chased him a while , he's wrong but what he sees is a bunch of elves pointing deadly weapons at him. Arrows.

"Oh no! Don't kill me!" he shouted rather than begging.

And all the elves keen eyes went wide, never in their lives they encounter a talking ferret and after a few blinks they all laughed hysterically. Draco eyes were now watery; he doesn't know what will be his fate in the hands of these elves. Draco has no idea that the Forbidden Forest has elves patrolling its borders. All he knew was hideous creatures like Acromantula, smelly Centaurs, Unicorns, Thaestrals and many others but Elves! And take note they are tall, fair-headed and can shoot arrows unlike Dobby, their family's house-elf.

"Please don't kill me... I still have duties to finish for my father..." he pleaded

The elves lowered their arrows, thinking that this talking ferret won't do any harm. An elf step forward and started talking elfish. And Draco has no idea what does it mean.

"What? Do you speak E-N-G-L-I-S-H?" Draco inquired.

The other elf shook his head; probably he doesn't understand what Draco was saying so he whispered to another and then the other elf quickly run and after a few moments he came back.

"Well, well, well, what have we had here? a talking vermin" A tall, silver-headed elf step forward.

Draco felt insulted, he is not a talking vermin, he is a wizard but he is a talking vermin in the eyes of this arrogant elf.

"Who are you? What are you? Do you speak English?" Draco asked

"We seldom use any tongue but our own; for we dwell now in the heart of the forest, and do not willingly have dealings with other folk…But there are some of us still who go abroad for the gathering of news and the watching of our enemies, and they speak the languages of other lands. I am one. Haldir is my name. My brothers, Rumil and Orophin back there, speak little of your tongue." Haldir stated while tilting his head a little back to his brothers.

"Tongue? What do you mean speaking your tongue?" Draco inquired

Haldir signaled his troops to get back to their duties. Leaving him and Draco alone.

"And what is yours, little one?" Haldir asked ignoring his rude statement, for some odd reason this talking ferret got his attention.

"Little?" Draco hissed standing up.

Haldir looked at the ferret and he let out a soft chuckle. Even though the ferret stood up, it's still little.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing... Now tell me, what is your name?"

"Malfoy" Draco answered with pride, "Draco Malfoy"

Haldir thought about it for a moment. It's odd that there's a ferret in the woods alone without its family and what is strange that this ferret is talking.

"Strange"

"What's strange?"

"That you are talking, are you really a ferret?"

Haldir slapped his face mentally for asking that question; of course it's a ferret.

"Actually, I'm not. I am a wizard"

And from that Haldir laughed. The picture of Gandalf suddenly popped in his mind but he played along knowing that he will enjoy this little conversation with this talking ferret and besides, weeks of patrolling the borders is rather boring without attacks.

"Stop laughing, okay? I'm not a laughing stock! I'm used to be a wizard, a pure-blooded wizard!" Draco yelled.

Haldir gained control of his self and cleared his throat.

"Forgive me, little one but are you really sure that you are a wizard?"

"Yes! Want me to try my spell on you?"

"Well... go on" Haldir challenged Draco about his magic. Draco then realized that he can't do magic without his wand.

"I can't... I left my wand in Hogwarts"

"Hmm... I think you are not a wizard then" Haldir smirked.

"I am! And I think you are not really an elf" Draco snap.

Haldir felt rather insulted. Of course he is an elf, a handsome, well-built elf and a Captain. Haldir furrowed his eyebrows.

"I am an elf, what do you think I am? An Orc?" Haldir asked controlling his anger.

"Aren't you supposed to be small and ugly?" Draco asked Haldir remembering Dobby.

"What do you mean small? We, elves are known for being tall, slender and fair among the races here in middle-earth."

"Middle-earth? Where in Merlin's name is that? We are in England! Earth!"

"You are sadly mistaken... Draco, right? This is Middle-Earth and you are standing here, in the Forest of Lothlorien"

"What? No! We are here in the Forbidden Forest"

"Forest of Lothlorien also known as the Golden Wood"

"Forbidden Forest, the BLACK FOREST"

"Forest of Lothlorien"

"Forbidden Forest, you pointy ears!"

"Forest of Lothlorien, you smelly vermin!"

"Wait till my father hears about you." Draco muttered.

"Wait till my arrow hits you"

The End.


End file.
